The Moments that Broke and ReMade me

This is not my typical blog post but something so personal I usually reserve for my Sweat Unfiltered Newsletter (Join Here) .  However, this email in particular really resonated with them last week and part 2 comes out next week.  If this is the type of motivation you love/need, I encourage you to join Sweat Unfiltered.
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I don’t want you addicted to exercise. I want you addicted to the PROCESS!!
I want you to realize that the moment of weakness, the moment it feels like it’s too much, the moment you feel totally human, is the very moment you should continue to revisit, problem solve, compete against.
Those dig deep moments during a workout helped coach me through the hardest phases of my life…
I vividly remember going on “crying runs” after miscarrying my first pregnancy.  I was not only shocked by the loss but angered by how easily I was supposed to “move on” simply b/c I had lost that munchkin so early in pregnancy.
I ran to feel the burn in my legs and the breathlessness in my lungs.  That discomfort became the PHYSICAL manifestation of what I felt inside.  It was cathartic.  It was relief.  It was invaluable in my conversations with God.
Years later, when I needed to wait two agonizing weeks for my appointment at UAB to find out if my sweet baby girl, Emery, would be born with Downs Syndrome, I once again turned to my workouts for help.
I was 5 months pregnant and once again in mourning, not because Downs is a fatal diagnosis but you undoubtedly have to change your dreams for your child.  I was, to say the least, ill prepared for those type of news, so, once again, I sought out the physical discomfort of hard training to bring to surface my fears.
I was not in control of my circumstances and I felt a blend of anger and fear that only a mother under my circumstances would understand.  I remember squatting with dumbbells, cussing in my head, eyes full of tears, and feeling satisfied only by conquering my set without rest.  Those dumbbells made me feel strong when every other moment I felt broken.
Even today, my best workouts come when I bring my troubles, my pain, my heartache, my frustrations, my wounds to the gym floor.  I let the “this is too hard”, “the where do I go from here?”, “the what the hell do I do now,” or “the why me!” out with every drip of Sweat.
They let me find my threshold, break through it, and feel the release.  Workouts aren’t supposed to be all about the calorie in calorie out equation.  They teach you how to be weak, how to be strong, how to be vulnerable, or how to heal.
THAT’S what I want you addicted to…the process of unlayering you!