“YES” to New Year’s Resolutions and Here’s How to Write Them

I am 100% a fan of making New Year’s Resolutions!!!

I know many people don’t meet them, but I don’t find that to be a flaw in WHAT New Year’s Resolutions are, I simply think most folks could use some kick ass “How To” coaching on goal setting.

So that’s what I intend to do today…

Elevate your New Year’s Resolutions so that they go from lofty OUTCOMES written on a sheet of paper to manageable TASKS that you are ACTING on throughout the year.

I’m going to write this blog post a little “backwards” because I don’t want this process to “get lost” in words and paragraphs if you don’t need them.

So I’m going to give you the steps to goal writing FIRST.

Whenever you see (*) that means if you’re curious or confused there’s an explanation at the bottom.

Cool?

STEPS TO YOUR “LET’S CRUSH 2017 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS”

  1. Find some quiet time and space in your day and get as comfy as possible.  Wine, coffee, tea, pjs, prayer or mediation… do whatever you have to do so that you are not feeling stressed.  You are in a frame of mind to think big thoughts and big dreams.
  2. You need paper and pen because this is a PROCESS you are about to undergo.  This is NOT a 2017 “to-do” list.  Grab your diary, bullet journal, or several sheets of paper and your favorite pen or pencil.
  3. * On a sheet of paper, create 3 -5 life categories where you want to experience change.  Each category must be broad and not have any or much overlap with the other one.  For example, Fitness, Career, Family. 
  4.  Under each category just free write  ideas you’d like to happen.  Don’t worry about any timelines or barriers right now.  It’s important that you begin your thoughts by saying… “If time, money, education, expectations, and fear of failure were not an issue…” and write those dreams down.  Take all the barriers out when setting your vision!!!!  You will address fears in just a sec.  
  5. By the way, if you feel hesitant to write anything down because you feel a bit exposed, vulnerable, or like it’s impossible… you’re on the right track!!  This document is YOURS and you need to give yourself PERMISSION to be AUTHENTIC.
  6. You can acknowledge fears or mindset barriers on a different sheet of paper to keep you aware of things you DON’T want to attract in your life or as a reference point for future self development.  You don’t have to shove fears and pain away in a little box.  Give them a voice.  Write them down.  As Brene Brown brilliantly exposed… “Shame cannot withstand being spoken.” so just looking at them in the face provides you the reference point of GROWTH.  
  7.  ** Time to REVERSE ENGINEER your goals.  You will want a sheet of paper for each life category you created.  Title each one.  For example:  Fitness Goals 2017, Career Goals 2017, Family Goals 2017.
  8. For each life category break up 2017 into quarters starting from the END of the year!
    1. October -December,
    2. July- September,
    3. April- June, and
    4. January -March.
  9. Look at your free writing sheet, if you stated that a 2017 goal is to lose 15 pounds then your job is to state IN THE PRESENT TENSE (not the future tense) what you are DOING CONSISTENTLY (not perfectly) by the last quarter of the year that get you to that goal.
    • I strength train 4 times per week.
    • I order grilled or sauteed foods when I go out to eat.
    • I drink 2 glasses of wine on Fridays and Saturdays with friends.
    • I drink 2-4 liters of water daily.
  10. If you are consistenty doing these things by October, November, or December of 2017, what is it reasonable for you to do July- September, April- June, January – March?
  11. BAM!!!! You now have your task list for the first quarter of this year!!!!  OMG… your goal doesn’t seem so big and scary anymore does it?  If you’ve done this with healthy expectations, you are looking at January – March like … hell yeah… I got this!!!!
  12. Repeat this process for all the other categories you’ve picked.
  13. *** CAUTION:   If you focus on everything, you’re focused on NOTHING!!!
  14. The hardest part if you’re not careful is revisiting your plan.  Out of sight, out of mind.  In sight, in mind.  If you respond well to technology, set reminders on your phone every two weeks.  Make them fun or uniquely yours so that they propel you to either look at your list, modify your list, or continue on the path you’re on.  I’m a bullet journal girl now so my 2017 vision and goals travel will be traveling with me every day.
  15. #MindsetCheck:  FORWARD PROGRESS is success – Not landmark dates and pounds and numbers you set arbitrarily months prior!!  Your plan can shift and move WITH you and keep you in motion.  It’s not meant to hold you down.  LET YOUR DREAMS EVOLVE.  

 * CREATING GOAL CATEGORIES TO FIX THE PROBLEM OF MOTIVATION

This is what I want you to know about motivation… it naturally comes in WAVES… with highs and lows.

So when you catch a wave on high… congrats!… it’s time to get to WORK.  This is the easiest time to harness focus, tenacity, resilience, and grit so it’s an awesome time to begin doing the hard things it takes to get you to your goals.

Here’s the thing… that wave will inevitably come to shore and THAT’S fine and completely natural!  You can expect to hit a low about every to 30-60 days.

The problem I see people make most often is that they get stuck on the brilliance of what being on that wave was like and STAY on shore waiting for that SAME wave to come back and scoop them up on another wild ride so they can finish their right all at once!

Uhm… nope… that wave is gone and trying to re-create it and force it to the finish line gets you STUCK and in a rut.

What you need to do is be excited for all the steps closer you are now than you were before.  Be self aware enough to understand that maybe your whole system and life needs to do nothing more than to work on KEEPING that goal for now.

And if you’re lucky one of your other goals might catch your eye.  It might speak to you and say, “hey… you ready… let’s ride.”

2.  ** REVERSE ENGINEERING GOALS

This is NOT a new concept… maybe a new term you haven’t heard before.

If you’re a teacher, you know exactly what this looks like.

You identify the vision and goals from the course of study, you break that down into your year’s course syllabus, you break that down further to create your units, you chop that down further to create your tests, you shave that down to even further to create your week’s lesson plans where each day has it’s own tasks to be completed.

You take a MACRO look and REVERSE the learning process from there.

Not a teacher?  Do you grocery shop?  Betting your best food weeks are when you can take a MACRO look at your life, month, weeks and plan accordingly?

If the objective is… I want the family to eat their proteins and veggies then you are forced to ask questions like… What days are we at home?  What days are the kids activities?  When is that board meeting again?  What days am I cooking?  What days are take out days?

I’m betting most of what’s on your agenda repeats itself for at least a season so you begin to see patterns like:

Monday is a crock pot day so you google a recipe for that, Tuesdays kids have activities so it’s take out so what restaurants have the best proteins and veggies, Wednesdays it’s church so sandwiches and salads are easy, Thursday all the best shows are on so we’re all at home and try a new recipe etc.

You build your menu, then your grocery list by REVERSE ENGINEERING your week, month, or season.

*** 3.  LIFE IS MESSY

Life doesn’t happen in a neat and tidy list or calendar.  

Despite your best efforts, you may NEED TO CHOOSE which goal speaks to you.  Which wave do you want to catch?  Where do you most want your initial focus to be?

It is inefficient to try to do ALL the categories at once.  Then again, I don’t know you and I don’t know your exact goals either.

Some may be as “easy” as organize my house so you’ve literally picked one room in the house to tackle each month.

If that’s the case then yeah… I think you could totally organize your bedroom a little each day in January and also hit your fitness January – March goals at the same time.

Also, don’t get all bent out of shape if your fitness wave only gets you through the first 6 weeks of the year.  No biggie.  Totally natural!  Put that goal to rest… doing your best just to maintain… and simply go to another category.  I bet you’ll be crazy excited to tackle that one.

 

 

What’s your “good enough?”- 4 ways to find it.

GOOD ENOUGH… it’s a term that most people dislike because they automatically let their brains go to “settling for less.”

And while that can be one interpretation, I believe there’s another more positive side to “good enough.”

The recognition that the NOW, the here, the what is right in front of you has TREMENDOUS value already!!!!

Continue reading “What’s your “good enough?”- 4 ways to find it.”

If not food guilt, then what?

Food guilt… super common… and super annoying to live with.

I could write a novel about the topic as it was once upon a time, not only a daily occurrence for me, but a continuous every-single-time-I-ate battle.

I’d feel guilty if I ate a bit of extra food and, of course, feel like a complete loser if I over ate.

I’d feel damned to huge weight gain if I splurged on a holiday, at a party, or just for the hell of it.

I’d wrestle with my body image if I made any decision that deferred from what I deemed acceptable which, when it came down to it, was damn near on the verge of absolute daily perfection.

Continue reading “If not food guilt, then what?”

4 COMPARISON traps and how to flip them

 

By nature, I am not a competitive person… with other people.

With myself… well, that was a hard battle fought and won through a lot of introspection.

You see… for a long time the main driver I used to fuel my health and fitness goals was “getting my pre-baby body back.”

I needed to run as fast as before.

I needed to run as long as before.

I needed to eat the exact same foods as before.

I needed to lift the same weight in the same amount of time as before.

I needed to fit in the exact same clothes and those clothes needed to fall on my body the exact same way.

Anything short of THE SAME as before was ugly, bad, a let down, and could NOT be celebrated.

Continue reading “4 COMPARISON traps and how to flip them”

Maintenance Mode, it’s just a “Rest Stop”

The mental struggle to always KEEP GOING on our fitness goals is real!!!

Just 5 more pounds-

because 6 weeks or 10 weeks or 12 weeks of hard core focus and results is just not enough to pat oneself on the back and take a moment to just ENJOY.

Ooooh, I’ll try that too-

because never mind that what you’re doing is making you feel better and creating strength and tone, if you do just ONE MORE THING that will speed things up faster and then maybe you’ll be done (except just 5 more pounds.)

But if I just had more will power-

because years of failing at elimination isn’t enough to demonstrate the research is right… that method sucks.  It’s really your internal weaknesses that’s preventing change.  It’s me.  I’m just mentally weak.

I understand all this so well… because at some point in time all these were versions of my past self.

Always striving for a new number, eliminating one more thing, or feeling angry at herself after 1/2 starving throughout the day only to find herself in the midst of another epic binge.

A year round preoccupation with “what’s next?” or how do I get there faster? birthed either an all deprivation or all out binge cycle that left my metabolism confused and damaged and made results fleeting.

Over the past several years, I’ve moved from someone who was always trying to shred to accepting the natural flow of my year… from important events to the change of weather.

What I’ve found is that I’m able to more easily harness my focus to do the MENTALLY HARD THINGS like lose fat (#shredmode) or PHYSICALLY TAXING THINGS like gain muscle (#gainsmode), if I’ve allowed myself a REST STOP, where I settle in with where I’m at and LET MYSELF enjoy a plateau.

I call this wonderful time, #MAINTENANCEMODE!

The time of year where I am neither wanting or planning to gain or lose a damn thing.

Gah! The mental and physical release is cathartic and appreciated and allows for me to take my energy, time, and creativity and INVEST it in other places.

I am NOT bothered by macros, calories, carbs, fats, proteins, measuring because I am NOT on a mission to practice anything new.

I practice what I already know COMES EASY, fall into a routine OF WHAT IS, and most importantly APPRECIATE my body AS IS!!!

I am WELL AWARE of how “far out” this can all sound to someone who ONLY KNOWS how to be on a regimen, on a program, or on a mission, and doesn’t want to stop until they are 100% happy with their reflection in the mirror.

There is a FEAR that if one is not moving forward then one is REGRESSING.

The anxiety in possibility of gaining (more) weight simply because there is not a manual or a number dictating our next step.

The constant self doubt in every decision no matter how big or small.

In fact, I remember just being terrified in the beginning, but I was so EXHAUSTED of being “on a mission” all the time, that I moved forward anyways.

And by forward, I mean that the first 2 weeks were probably a series of hiccups and ooopsies and false starts.

What is evident at the beginning of leaving a life of constant dieting are the GAPS OF TRUST in our own decision making.

We are so used to being “followers of instructions” and being told what to do that we forget how to LEAD ourselves.

Once I rebuilt trust (which is what I will show you in “On The Verge”) I RELAXED into the process and the process began to show up for me in terms of my motivation, focus, and readiness for change.

In a few weeks, I was down right excited to tackle a bit of fat loss again.  And guess what?  My BODY was ready too!!!!  It RESPONDED because I gave it time to rest.

So as I began to listen to all the heightened Holiday food guilt, I created a free, high access to coaching program called “On the Verge” because my goal is to KEEP you on the verge of your resolutions.

I want to coach you through the principles of #MaintenanceMode so you quit gaining but you also quit worrying so much!!

I want to HELP YOU BUILD TRUST now so that come January your  motivation for change is so high you’re able to CAPITALIZE on CONSISTENT EFFORT vs A BURNED OUT stop and go series.

We start Dec. 5 and here’s a quick look at what’s happening…

  1.  I’ll be coaching you inside my secret Facebook group, Diet Rebellion.
  2.  We’ll be tackling 2 big topics per week.
  3.  Weekly check-ins (no pictures!)
  4. You’ll have access to an online community that I’ve been working closely with and is ready to support you.
  5. A 5 day workout split with a #TrackWhatYouRack tutorial that will show you how to simplify and intensify strength training.
  6. Daily access to me to ask questions or get support

“Getting back on track” in December is NOT where I want your energy spent.  All that overeating, stop and over exercise band-aids will not provide you the energy and focus you will need in January.

Chillax!  You gotta settle into #MaitenanceMode first!!!