If you don’t know anything about my “aha” moment, you can read the full details here. If you want the edited version, essentially my daughter caught me in a moment of body shaming.
She was bathing and I was pinching my belly fat in front of the mirror. At some point, she stopped splashing in the tub and her eyes were dead set and fixated on what I was doing. She was analyzing my behavior. She was learning what one does in front of the mirror. OMG…She was learning to hate her body from me!!!!!
I was sickened to my stomach and knew at that very moment that if my actions did not change, I was, not only going to continue hurting myself which I clearly didn’t care about at the time, but was ROBBING my daughter of her own positive self image as well.
That 5 minute snap shot taught me everything I ever needed to know about helping my daughter grow up KNOWING she was AWESOME!!!
I may not have believed myself to be beautiful at the time, I may not have thought of myself as strong or lean or powerful but I was determined to fake it for my DAUGHTER’S SAKE!
1. NO MORE STUDYING MY BELLY IN THE MIRROR!
Monkey see. Monkey do. If you do anything in that mirror you better flex and smile. Don’t just tell her you love her. Show her you love yourself too!!!
2. NO MORE “F” WORD!
Saying you are fat or chunky and laughing about it like it’s a joke is unacceptable. If I don’t want my daughter to bully herself in the mirror, it STARTS WITH ME! I am worthy here and now AS I AM and so is she.
I am not in control of social media. I am not in control of the magazines. I am in control of me, my behavior, my words. In my presence she will not learn to shame herself. She will learn acceptance, strength, self worth, and compassion.
3. LET THEM SEE YOU EAT CAKE!!!
You can eat a cookie. You can eat ice cream. I don’t declare myself lean or “skinny” every time I eat a salad! Why the hell do I feel the need to make a statement about health every time I eat a dessert. Just shut up and ENJOY that cupcake just like they are!!
In short, ACTIONS speak louder than our WORDS. We all know that, but are we living it?
We may not think our bodies have reached their full potential, we may think that we have a long way to go. That’s fine! You can keep working towards your goals without being a jerk to yourself. Your littles are watching you.
I will tell you though, from experience, that once you let go of that nasty body shaming habit of yours and learn to be a good friend to yourself, you stop having to fake it. You “accidentally” make it and those actions that once felt forced become your NEW NORMAL.