EmpowHER Workshop – Discover, Define, Defend Your Boundaries

I’m going to tell you a story.  I’m not proud of it.  In fact, I am the grand coward, an elephant afraid of a mouse.

 

And while it would be more comfortable to talk about empowerment at moment where I am a woman standing her ground and facing her fears, that superwoman cape is fake.   I have a hidden when asked to lead.

 

To understand the EmpowHER Workshop and it’s impact, it’s important for you to SEE me at my weakest so that you understand why I’m a woman hungry for better.

 

Everything changed for me in college when I found out my friend had been beaten by her boyfriend.  A boyfriend who also happened to be my close friend.

 

Until that day, I would have sworn that when asked to take sides I would have chosen the victim.  How could I not?  I’d experienced sexual assault.  I knew the shame.  I knew the fear.  I had first hand knowledge of what it meant to be both believed and ignored.

 

I’d spent hours of my life questioning my behavior, replaying the moments prior, and wondering what I’d done “to ask for it.”

 

It’s almost inexplicable, today, how I chose the perpetrator.  Despite my past, in the end, I picked the person who offered me what the victim could not – The opportunity to live my life as if nothing were different.  

 

In a defining moment, I shrunk when life asked that I expand.

 

So while, today, I can shout, “NEVER AGAIN” it’s because I saw my mistake as a clear violation of my values and needed to understand why I had found it impossible to take a stand.

 

What I DISCOVERED were layers of false narratives about pretty, little, mild, pure and damaging ideas surrounding perfection, image, loyalty, being liked, being admired, and falling into line.

 

Today, I am unwilling to pass on these beliefs to my daughter and refuse for my son to passively absorb them.

I rise up to the bar that empowers my baby girl and all women the freedom to DEFINE female outside of confinements that keep her quiet, small, and in line.

 

  • That has meant purposefully using adjectives like big, strong, and heavy to describe myself and other women positively.
  • Letting the rolls on my belly be seen at sweatlocal and on social media because something as simple as NORMAL defies the impossible physical standards we are asked to reach.
  • Openly speaking about fitness in the context of sexiness and not just health because I can create both FOR myself instead of as an offer TO someone else.

And now, in 2018, The EmpowHER Workshop. … Because it’s time for me to stop talking and for all us to EMBODY the woman we dream our daughters to become.  A woman living in alignment with values she has defined for herself and is unwilling to apologize for standing up when those boundaries are crossed.

I hope you join us on April 15th from 2 -5 pm as author, speaker, and activist Erin Brown leads us through a transformative evening of introspection and empowerment. 

CLICK BELOW TO:

 

 

 

Fail or Flourish – 6 Ways to emBOLDen your Resolutions

If only 8% of those who make NY Resolutions actually keep them, why do we still make them?

Because a fresh start is SEXY!

Because a clean slate is REFRESHING!

Because despite the madness of the holidays, we still want to accomplish BIG THINGS for our health & hotness!

And even though, technically, any day and time is “the perfect time to start” there is an undoubtable STRENGTH IN NUMBERS!!!!

I mean, it’s one thing to be “the weirdo” at lunch with tupperware filled with veggies and protein and a whole different ball game when your whole work crew is exchanging recipes and snack hacks like it’s the latest gossip from TMZ.

There’s nothing to trigger you to get the hell out of the office than seeing 20 of your closest buds slinging workout bags over their shoulders as they leave 5 minutes early cause it’s leg day, traffic is brutal, and they don’t want to miss class.

Hell to the yeah NY Resolutions are BADASS!

But somehow it’s become cool on social media to poo poo all over people’s plans.  Like it’s a bad thing to have caught a nasty case of the motivation bug and we are to doctor people back to a “just be ordinary” diagnosis.

WELL BIG FAT MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CYNICS. 

Maybe I’m the last coach on earth who adores NY Resolutions (and magical unicorns, rainbows made of glitter, and pet dragons) but ya’ll we UNDERESTIMATE the shit we can do in a year.

We fill our days with a “to do” list filled with STUFF that’s meaningless and forget where the hell we actually want to go.

The New Year’s REMINDS people of THEIR BEST LIFE and TRIGGERS them to take ACTION!!!!!

It’s an AH-MAY-ZANG thing to watch!!!!!!

So the goal of this blog post is, in part, is to give every New Year’s Resolution champion a big virtual CARE BEAR STARE because there’s way too much negativity out there trying to rain on your parade.

 

Secondly, I want to arm you with 6 BIG TIME NY RESOLUTION TIPS that will help you STRENGTHEN AND STRUCTURE your 2018 goals for major results!

  1.  YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING.  YOU JUST CAN’T DO IT ALL AT ONCE.

Seriously.  You are a badass.  You can do anything you set your mind to.  But unless you’ve been given 6 months to live, then it’s going to be a BIG DEAL for you to SPREAD your goals out.

I like to buy a cheap calendar and pick a date to have my goals accomplished.

For example:  By August 2018 I have an organized house.  By May 2018 my white summer shorts snap and zip comfortably.  By November 2018…

This then snowballs a bunch of questions… If I want to have a clean house by August, what am I responsible to have accomplished by July? by June? by May?

This creates monthly action steps because August FEELS really far away in January and that can cause PROCRASTINATION… the New Years Resolution CANCER.

So if my goal is a clean and organized house by August that means in July I can take the whole month to clean out and organize my kitchen… from light bulbs, cabinet clean out, floor boards, throwing away tupperware that no longer has tops etc.

Then June I can hit both the kids bedrooms.  One kid gets the first two weeks of the month and the second the last half.  I’ll give away toys, clothes, clean out drawers, discover disgusting things under the bed, etc.

Then I keep working backwards to January and that tells me exactly what I need to be doing NOW.  Those tasks get added into my daily/weekly bullet journal so I see them in front of me daily.

Same process with fat loss by the way.  May 2018 can feel really far away so if you’re looking to trim down, REVERSE ENGINEER your goal giving yourself specific tasks along the way.

 

2.  GET (MORE) STUFF DONE DURING MOTIVATION BURSTS

So, it’s January and you’re in the midst of a major fitness high!  Congrats.  By all means, take advantage!!!

However, what comes up, must come down so expect the frenzied love of all things burpee, lifting, running, and yoga to taper down.  It’s natural.  It doesn’t make you a loser.

Focus is finite and motivation is not be taken for granted.

As you reverse engineer your goals, schedule the biggest and hardest tasks when you know your motivation will be highest and schedule less during the lows.

Think about it.  The pools open in May.  You may not get as much done in February or March but, by golly, expect your April and May to be another mini NY Resolution party.  Get your schedule and life in order so that you can take advantage of that motivation burst as it nears.

3.  BUILD ROUTINE (without losing flexibility)

Routines are what keeps us in check when motivation is gone.  They are comprised of a complex mix of habits and discipline.

Habits are tasks done through automation.  We hardly think about what we’re doing or why.

Discipline, on the other hand, takes awareness.  There is thought, energy, and sometimes even grit to get us to do what we know we need to do.

Both are essential when accomplishing goals and we need them.  However, don’t forget to keep a healthy dose of problem solving flexibility.  There are several ways to get tasks accomplished.

Keep your eyes peeled for those opportunities.

4.  SUCCESS IS PAVED BY MISTAKES WELL HANDLED

You’re going to get things wrong sometimes.  By now you’ve seen enough fitspiration to know fat loss or physique change is not a linear process.  It’s messy.

Expect missteps but LOOK FOR the source of the mistake rather than ruminating over the bag of chips you ate last night or the 2 missed workouts of the week.

Your focus is in locating where the breakdown began rather than the aftermath.

When did I first start to crave or feel tired?  Why did I react in such a strong way?  Do I often react this way?  Is this the first time?  What parts are in my control?  How can I behave differently so that this does not repeat or, at least, happen less?

5.  ACCOUNTABILITY

If you FEEL the enthusiasm in January b/c “everyone is out to get fit” well yeah, that’s kinda what’s it like when you find your perfect workout spot.

We see it all the time at sweatlocal… when you’re down and wanna quit, someone else is having their up day and they pick your ass up and take you along their workout high for the day.  Or vice versa… your kick ass moment is exactly the day someone isn’t even sure they can make it through the warm up.  They “borrow” energy from you that day and crush it on a day they would have quit on their own.

Oh, and in case that doesn’t work… well there’s your coach, who’s watching, driving the workout, and has done all the think work for you.

Yo ass is not getting bailed out.  You’re gonna get this workout in and get it in right!

6.  PURGE THE UNNECESSARY

One thing that’s great about visiting and revisting your NY Resolutions is that they HELP YOU SAY NO to stuff you don’t even really care about!

I mean, it’s not that the things that are eating away at your schedule aren’t great but maybe they just aren’t for you… right now.  Goals and resolutions keep us GROUNDED.

This month you might find yourself with a schedule that feels really tight and with little room for your gym time and meals, but I highly encourage you to EMBRACE YES on the things you love and adore and BEGIN to purge and SAY NO to things that DO NOT bring you closer to YOUR BEST LIFE!!

So… go forth with your bad self and proudly rave about your New Year’s Resolutions!!!  They’re a good thing… a damn right marvelous thing.  Don’t let the cynics and skeptics lead you to believe you can’t make this YOUR BEST YEAR YET!

Thank you for reading, for being a part of sweatlocal, and if we’re not already part of your health and hotness, feel free to touch base w/ me directly anytime.  jeidi@sweathuntsville.com or join my newsletter Sweat Unfiltered.

The Year of Bold

It’s absolutely insane that sweatlocal has been in existence for over 5 years and it wasn’t until this Fall that I sat down to write our EXACT mission and vision statements.

You see, I’m a free thinker when it comes to business (and fitness) and so I outwardly reject or at least QUESTION a lot of established norms.  

Take the phrase, “It not personal.  It’s just business.” for example.  It’s often used to make hard decisions land softly except uhm… no… we work with and for humans.

It’s all mother effin’ personal!!!!

Business decisions impact PEOPLE and PEOPLE impact business.  I believe losing sight of that connection diminishes your services, creativity, hospitality, influence, and impact. #peoplematter

Well then, I guess that means I must embrace the idea that “The customer is always right?” 

Except… NO to that too. 

The client (and I hate that clinical word) ALWAYS HAS A VOICE and a DIRECT AVENUE to communicate with me but there are lines that CANNOT be crossed and that are not up for negotiation.   

Touch a trainer or another client inappropriately, refuse to work next to someone because of their religion, the color of their skin, their physical abilities, their sexual orientation, then that client is actually NOT RIGHT, should be called out on it, without any regard to losing their business.  

There are lines in the sand that we ALL have to draw.

And while I’ve always KNOWN and been COMFORTABLE with these out of the box operating procedures, I have come to understand that without your mission, vision, and principles explicitly written you can get LOST or off course in the middle of a big storm.

  • You must be CLEAR about your destination BEFORE the disruption.

  • You must be CONFIDENT with your navigation system BEFORE the surge appears.

  • You must be ANCHORED to your principles and values to hold on to your integrity because the RIGHT THING is often the HARDEST THING TO DO.

And so as #leggo2017 began to come to a close, I took a major deep dive into the very essence of our existence and I came out of that reflective process ENERGIZED, DRIVEN, FOCUSED, and EMBOLDENED like never before.

2018 is THE YEAR OF BOLD, as a result.

I’ve got some things on our 2018 agenda you may not be expecting but you’ll soon not forget.

Several things are in the brewing stages as of yet, but THEY WILL HAPPEN.

And so before all those things come to light, I wanted you to SEE and KNOW EXACTLY what we’re after, where we are going, and the values we bring to the table. 

Here is our road map and our anchor.  

sweatlocal mission:

We exist to EMPOWER and CONNECT each person with their inherent strength so that they can live their best life.  

sweatlocal vision:

We envision a world where people are unafraid to tackle life boldly.  

sweatlocal principles and C.O.R.E values

  1. Radical Truth – the personal freedom to show up in this world exactly as yourself and know it is exactly enough.
    1. Courage in the face of rejection.
    2. Ownership of strengths and imperfections.
    3. Respect for ourselves and others.
    4. Effort, because while RADICAL TRUTH is simple, it’s often the hardest thing to do. #dothehardthinganyways
  2. Radical Accountability – Outcomes are a direct result of our own actions and inactions.  
    1. Courage in the face of consequence. 
    2. Ownership in actions and words.
    3. Responsibility because we are 100% responsible for what happens and doesn’t happen to us.  (Don’t worry that someone else isn’t taking their 100% responsibility.  Eyes on your own damn paper!)
    4. Effort – You are in control of yourself and no one else.   Blame is disempowering.  
  3. Radical Resilience – success is paved by mistakes well handled
    1. Courage to take action despite fears.
    2. Ownership – It’s not about never making a mistake, it’s about what you do next. 
    3. Reaction – You cannot always control your circumstances, but you always control your reaction to them.
    4. Effort – While failures are inevitable effort decides if you fail up or fall down #getgritty

I’m proud of what you see above.  (Radical Truth)

I’m sad it took me 5 years and some madness to realize the potential and progress I was leaving behind too.  (Radical Accountability)

But, I’m insanely excited for what is to come! (Radical Resilience)

A quick heads up… my newsletter sweatunfiltered is usually where I reveal most of what’s coming first.  I love my Facebook and Instagram but my newsletter gets the goods and is always in the know first.  If that appeals to you, cool.  Join below.  If not, that cool too 🙂

 

25 Books That Will Make You a Better Human in 2018

If you know me, you know I’m a HUGE nerd and PROUD introvert.

For me, reading, solitude, and thought are the ULTIMATE acts of self care.  In fact, I purposefully set an alarm a full 90 minutes BEFORE anyone in my house will even THINK about waking up so I can commence my morning ritual of

  1.  Coffee – cause, duh… it’s life.
  2.  Candles – sets the Zen tone I’m wanting (recent new upgrade)
  3.  Book – cause reading quiets my fast paced brain that wants to immediately dive to work.
  4.  Bullet Journal – to organize my thoughts, ideas, and responsibilities

No t.v., no iphone, no email, and NO NOISE is allowed until 6:30am!  (And on the mornings I coach at 5am, I STILL get my reading time in!)

Reading is a habit that provides me so much energy, joy, creativity, peace, and problem solving knowledge that I forgo sleep in order to ensure I don’t miss my reading time.  I literally CANNOT  imagine who I would be (or WOULDN’T BE) without my book addiction.

And it’s in that spirit of self transformation and elevation that I offer you the 2017 books that had the biggest impact on my psyche.  (I actually sprinkled in 4 books from a few years past b/c they’re just too good to miss in my opinion.)  These books created “aha” moments as well as “ugh” realizations.    

I hope this list inspires you to #nerdout with me in 2018 and become a better, badder, more evolved version of yourself.  Grab a Kindle, go audio book style, or, if you’re old school like me, open up that book cover and dive in!  I’ll be sharing tons more like this in my newsletter, sweatunfiltered, so if you dig this kind of stuff think about click to join.

P.S.  These books are in no particular order but my absolute super faves of the year have an (*) next to their names.   

Continue reading “25 Books That Will Make You a Better Human in 2018”

5 Reasons You’re Still Over Eating And How To Stop

“If I could just stop over eating at night, I’d finally lose the weight!”

“If I could just control my portions at dinner, I’d get rid of this belly.”

Not a month goes by where I don’t hear some form of this complaint.  It’s super common, btw, for both men and women.  This is not a “girl” eating problem.  It’s a busy AF HUMAN PROBLEM so if you’re constantly “missing the mark” or “off track” with dinner, let’s chat.

First, you need to know that I 100% relate and empathize w/ anyone struggling w/ the non-stop, continuous, calorie bomb dinner as this was one of my biggest issues as well.

When hangry, I can out eat a large, adult male no problem.  “Healthy” food, “junk” food and everything in between food… if I’ve let my hunger get away from me, it’s gonna be gone, cookie monster style.  

Every single excuse/fear/obstacle below while it might be yours, you need to know, it was my own once upon a time, as well.

I get it.  I lived it.  I struggled with it.  I beat it. 

Continue reading “5 Reasons You’re Still Over Eating And How To Stop”

5 STEPS TO GETTING STUFF DONE, MOTIVATION FREE

I’m waiting …

  1. for my work schedule to slow back down.
  2. for the weather to get warmer.
  3. to finish up this project.
  4. for my kids’ baseball season to end.
  5. for my big work trip to pass.
  6. for the holidays to end.
  7. for life to settle down.
  8. for kids to go back to school.
  9. to find the time again.
  10. to feel motivated again.

Sound familiar?

More often than not, getting hard things done, is a series of uncomfortable sacrifices.

It’s no wonder we create a WAITING game!

We hope one discomfort will end, settle down, or pass by before adding in another to our already busy lives.

It makes total sense… until we really sit down and consider how powerless this leaves us.

To wait means that our wants, wishes, and desires and completely DEPENDENT on someone or something else.

Rather than design, carve, or battle our way through, we take a complacent route and allow any resistance to fade or diminish on it’s own, if it so desires, whenever it pleases.

Continue reading “5 STEPS TO GETTING STUFF DONE, MOTIVATION FREE”

The struggle is real but suffering is optional

Early this summer I was casually chatting with a friend over just common #momlife problems. Towards the end she made an innocent statement about how good it felt to simply know “I too, make mistakes.”

Brene Brown, a social researcher, professor, and author, talks extensively about the tremendous impact hearing the phrase “me too” has when people are in the midst of a struggle.

In fact, one of the main reasons I started to talk and continue to talk so openly about my various eating disorders and body image problems was your very own HEALING impact on ME.

When I revealed not only my bout with anorexia but also binge eating, I got dozens of emails back saying some form of, “ME TOO!!”

And then again, when I became open about how brutal a financial and emotional blow creating sweatlocal was in the midst of unemployment, another set of dozens of “ME TOO!!”

 

Not that everyone was mounting businesses, of course, but my pain in the struggle resonated with yours and yours with mine and that dark shame that hides behind isolation seemed to give way to hope.

 

Here’s the thing… my friends surprise that, “I, too, make mistakes” stems from reading my newsletters and blog posts and not seeing that what I write about are things I’ve spent countless HOURS pondering and reflecting over, WEEKS studying and reading, and MONTHS practicing, experimenting, and failing fast to find solutions.

I PURPOSEFULLY do not share my PERSONAL LIFE PUBLICLY in the midst of a storm because if I have no solutions, insights, or growth to offer then all I’m doing is complaining, venting, wallowing, and whining and that is indulgent, unhelpful, and not worthy of taking up real estate in your inbox and your precious time.

Continue reading “The struggle is real but suffering is optional”

3 Healthy Habits to question (and actually get healthier)

If you know anything about me and how I coach fat loss, you know I love mindset but I’m also not afraid of numbers.

I’m totally fine getting formulaic with calories and macros and deficits  in a world where “just listen to your body” is all the rage.

And it’s an awesome protocol, btw.

YES!… you should ABSOLUTELY listen to your body!!!!!

The thing is, that “kumbaya” diet advice fell hella flat with me back in the day when all I was doing was binge eating at night, feeling ashamed of my inability to follow my goals, and frustrated that I “couldn’t stay on track.”

WTF does “trust your body” mean to a person who habitually finds themselves standing in front of the pantry, frantically stuffing cheerios into their mouth, promising themselves this is the last handful only to reach back in again?

I felt BETRAYED by every single hunger/fullness cue my body sent my way??!!??  Your fat loss solution was trust… HA!!!

I don’t start fat loss coaching with numbers because I believe numbers are inherently better than an intuitive eating approach.

I just know at my peak of frustration, the assumption that I had a strong enough relationship with my body to TRUST it, was laughable at it’s best and punchable on most days.

So yes, in Diet Rebellion, my fat loss coaching program, we get right to work on finding basal metabolic rates, total daily energy expenditures, and deficits because I am working with people, who like me, believed their bodies were deceiving them at every meal time.

With that said, numbers alone, DON’T HOLD THE KEY either, so from day 1 we also dive into some of the behaviors and beliefs that created the patterns that keep us stuck.

Below, I’ve listed 3 for you to consider and none are contingent on you trusting your body cues at meal times, btw.  All three points are loaded, however, and I plan to expand each farther Thursday night at 7:45pm (June 8th) on Facebook Live.  

In particular, myth #2 and the statement  ***Create a calorie deficit you can COMPLY with 80-90% of the time.  Both are loaded and require a good bit more explaining, especially if you’re walking in highly distrustful of your body.

Myth #1:  More information means better and faster results

Information overload is a real thing.  At some point, we simply know ENOUGH to commit and the quest to find an undiscovered trick in the bag leads to CONFUSION, DISORIENTATION, and the FEAR of getting things wrong.

“I read a Facebook article that said to eat more fat, but then this other one said to eat less fat.”

“My friend sent me a Facebook article that said carbs pre-workout are optimal but I read one that said they are better post workout.”

“This girl I follow on Instagram is doing keto, maybe I should too.”

We end up doing everything and nothing at the same time.

Turn down (or OFF) the volume on details with words like “optimal” and “greatest” and put your energy GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS!  

*** Create a calorie deficit you can COMPLY with 80-90% of the time.

  •  Myth #2:  “healthy” and “fat loss” are synonymous

As healthy as almonds are, you CANNOT eat a jar of them a day and lose weight.

Stop mindlessly eating them because every single magazine article and blog post lists them as an OPTIMAL midday snack option!!!

If a small amount isn’t actually satisfying your hunger WHY ARE YOU EATING THEM?????

Seriously, why?

Because they are “good” and other things are “bad.”  Because “clean eating” makes you a better person than eating “dirty” foods.

Almonds are great, sure, but they do pack a caloric punch that adds up fast.

YES… Sometimes you should EAT THE CHEEZ ITS for the simple, honest, and human reason that they’re going to hit the spot, you can finally stop craving, and in the long run eat LESS calories because you did so.

  •  Myth #3:  Just eat like a bodybuilder

I get it.  A bodybuilders methods work.  You get shredded.

Quick question, though… do you REVERSE DIET like a bodybuilder too?

Oh, don’t know what that is because Shape magazine always seems to forget to publish the other side of the shreddedAF industry, right?

Reverse dieting is when you take the BRUTAL 12-16 week 6 pack meal plan and work backwards from stage ready so that you don’t gain a DISPROPORTIONATE AMOUNT OF FAT back after such hardcore dieting.

Shredding for the stage is HELL FOR YOUR METABOLISM and anyone in the sport of bodybuilding who aims to stay there actually goes (or is supposed to go) through another long ass period of reverse dieting beginning their off season.

If you can take the 4 oz tilapia, 1 cup broccoli, and 3 oz of sweet potato meal plan for 12 weeks, you eventually have to learn to eat more moderately anyways.  Your body WILL NOT ALLOW YOU to stay shredded like that or eat so minimally without real and major repercussions.

One of those being HABITUALLY binge eating!

(Light bulb moment for me!!!!)

Okay… so this his blog post is by no means comprehensive.

I consider it a starting point for introspection and discussion and that’s why I’m excited to do and think it’s necessary to do a Facebook Live, Thursday, June 8th at 7:45pm.  Gah!  I love coaching live and in person!

@sweatlocal

 

 

 

The #7DeadlySins Journal and that fru fru mindset stuff

I’ve been blogging consistently now for two years, but I’ve journaled on and off my whole life.

Did you ever own one of those journals w/ the lock and key?

Yeah… I stayed stocked and when at the book store, I would salivate at the thought of owning more.

So, it’s really not all that surprising that last summer when I was introduced to bullet journaling as a way of organization that it would stick.

Here’s what most folks don’t know… along w/ the “to-do” list and “chore tracker”… my method of bullet journaling is so loosely structured that when the moment arises and I want… NEED… to capture my thoughts into words, I jump inside whatever page is ready to receive it.

And, as a naturally high strung persona recovering perfectionist one might say… I find an instant release after I’ve let my pen have it’s say.  In fact, writing turns my RESTLESSNESS into instant CLARITY and FOCUS.    

That simple pen and paper (or flashing scroll when blogging) takes my brain that moves a million miles a minute and forces it to SLOW DOWN to a snails pace so I sit WITH my discomfort, feelings, confusion, expectations, and mistakes.

My past and present CAN’T GET DISMISSED as a flashing thought…

… that fight I had with my husband, that riff that tore me apart from a friend, my unexpected miscarriage, my late night rendezvous with all the candy in the pantry… all get dealt with or at least begin the sometimes arduous journey towards understanding.

In other words… I can attribute a huge part of my personal growth to taking the time to put MY STORY into words.

That’s where the magic of journaling happens and that’s truly my end goal with this whole email journaling series,  #7DeadlySins of Fitness (and anything else really), jumps off on June 5th.

One email per week.

One journal entry.

Each topic dealing with the 7 Deadly Sins – wrath, gluttony, sloth, pride, envy, lust, and greed.

It’s not just, hey! read this super indulging email and write how you feel about it… you’d never journal or get the benefits of journaling if it was structured that way!

I want you walking out of the next 7 weeks having learned a solid PROCESS on how to at least start to get to the bottom of madness that is holding you down.

So much of our “problems and issues” with eating, exercise, comfort foods, judgement on eating and our relationship with our bodies… doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with calories, macros, burpees, or cellulite.

You can’t effectively work through all those tangibles until you’re willing to work with what’s happening INSIDE your head first! So…

Here’s how this whole journaling thing is going to go down… and even if you’re not doing this #7DeadlySins thing I highly recommend that the next time you attempt to journal you’re doing so with these 4 parts key elements in mind…

  •  What’s your ANECDOTE?

Every email will start w/ one of my stories in wrath, pride, gluttony, sloth, lust, envy, or greed to prompt YOUR OWN story.  These “sins” are UNIVERSAL… not a one of us have lived this life without having become victim to them all at some point.

BE HUMAN.

I certainly plan to be, but the point of the email is not my story but yours!  SOMETHING about what you read is meant to trigger one of your past or present experiences on the same topic.

However, this time… you’re not allowed to just THINK about this experience, we’re going to slow your brain down to that critical snails pace so you sit with the memories and the circumstances and WRITE FREELY.

That’s the other thing… forget periods, good grammar, correct spelling, or political correctness.  Give yourself permission to get totally UNCENSORED!  Super important so that the next steps have an impact!

  •  How are you ACCOUNTABLE?

Read over your story and ask yourself, where am I playing the role of victim?  Yes… super hard and can piss you off but such a key point when personal growth is an end goal.

Stop being the angel who got trampled on.  Stop being a martyr.

We may not be responsible for how things started, but we sure as hell all are accountable to how we REACTED to it.  We can control NO ONE but ourselves so this part is about putting the focus on us rather than wishing and hoping someone else would do x, y, and z.

What is YOUR x, y, z towards resolution?

Lose judgement and exchange it for RESPONSIBILITY.  Own your part.

  •  Are you willing to/should you ADAPT?

Whether it’s a deeper sense of gratitude or learning how to set new boundaries with people, every experience carries a valuable lesson.

The third step in this email journaling series is to … RE-WRITE your story having taken into account where your responsibility lies.

How would things be different if you had… not screamed back, assumed someone’s words were meant to injure, or stayed completely silent?  Write a new ending to the story so that you can truly understand what RESOLUTION would look like for you.  Then…

  • What’s the next immediate ACTION?

Big or small, forward progress is on YOU.  Doing, not thinking, creates change!  

Little things can get taken care of fast but if you’re dealing w/ something complicated you’ve got simply find that small thing you are responsible for today, right now, to closer to being at your best again.

Action cures anxiety.  The best thing you can do is NOT try to do all the things at once.  Start small, but DO something!

You guys, I’m super excited about June 5th… again, not because it’s about my story, but because I have felt the benefits of journaling (and blogging) for so long and hope to pass it along!

I’d love to have you along for the ride and hope to provide for you lots of light bulb moments that will propel you out of some of those sad or dark hang ups in friendships, food, exercise, and body image.

When Resentment Changes Responsibility

2012 was a year of abrupt and major change.

  • Lawrence and I opened up sweatlocal.
  • 24 hours later Lawrence lost his job.
  • I got notice that my teacher certification had expired (so no backup plan.)
  • I went from stay at home mom and “hobby trainer” with all the time in the world to full time business owner.

The ripple effects of that shift continued to shake our family well into 2013 and 2014.

Financially “starting over” is no joke.

 

In fact, it didn’t really feel like starting over… b/c when Lawrence and I first began our life together we had zero kids, no mortgage, no day care costs, no car payments, and most importantly…

 

NO STANDARD OF LIVING.

Right?!?!  We were like fresh out of college life!  We were young, wild, free and without much expectation of what this world “owed” us.

 

Our peers were beginning their lives and careers as well.

 

We were all in the same boat together.

 

By 2012 that was not the case.

 

As we were “losing it all” my friends were renovating kitchens, adding square footage to their homes, buying boats and second homes.

 

I, on the other hand, was visiting the bank weekly draining our savings to make sure we didn’t lose a home and kept food on the table.

 

Listening to my friends’ “problems” about whether to put dark or light slabs of granite on their new kitchen islands was so utterly out of my league I spent a good 12 months avoiding every possible outing I could.

 

I just COULDN’T relate!

 

It’s like when you have a baby and your friends are bitching about how tired they are because they stayed up too late drinking at the bar…

 

Their all “I’m so tired and sleep deprived!”

 

Meanwhile you’ve breastfed an infant 3 times through the night for the past 6 months so you just want to slap your girlfriends in the face b/c they actually HAVE NOT A CLUE what sleep deprivation really feels like.

 

Same with counter tops!

 

You don’t to rain on their home dreams parade but really… Is that what we’re calling a problem these days?

 

Granite?

 

So for a long time I sat RESENTFUL of what I was going through.

 

And let me be clear… what I struggled with is child’s play in comparison to what others have gone through and are dealing with today.

 

I by NO MEANS want to give the impression that my suffering has much grandeur at all.

 

What I want to highlight is that MY PERCEPTION of my friends and my circumstance was exaggerated by MY INSECURITIES and MY LIFE LENSE.

 

My perception of them was a

REFLECTION OF ME… not them!

 

Full on Ownership.

Full on Responsibility.

It was in these 12 months that I realized how much of my personal SELF WORTH was wrapped up in my bank account, car, kitchen, house, vacations.

 

I felt ashamed, unworthy, annoyed, and angry not because ANYONE ELSE was making me feel that way.

 

I MADE MYSELF FEEL THAT WAY.

DAMN IT!  Here I was believing I was really “a simple sort of girl” just because we lived within our means… without credit card debt, I didn’t buy expensive purses or spend lots of money getting my hair done.

 

Yet, when life threw me a curve ball and took away COMFORTS and LUXURIES (I felt entitled to) I wanted to hide… to retreat.

In other words…

 

I didn’t want others to see me

if I wasn’t at my best!

I was not so humble a person after all.

HARD PILL TO SWALLOW.

But I did.  And truth be told… I needed it because before 2012, I just couldn’t see that I was existing simply to enjoy all the things this world offered me instead of ENJOYING ALL THE THINGS I COULD OFFER THIS WORLD!

 

Right?

 

Okay… so I can’t enjoy square footage in a house, a brand new kitchen, a new car, a week to Disney.

 

There’s no six pack, tiny waist, perfect marriage, or angelic kids to envy here either!

But aren’t I (and aren’t we ALL) so much more than all those tangibles?

 

  • That’s when I threw myself headfirst into sweatlocal.
  • That’s when I started writing honest and blunt emails.
  • That’s when I showed up on social media as plain ‘ol regular me.
  • That’s when I started being transparent about food and exercise struggles in my blogs.
  • Hell… that’s when I started cussing again.  LOL!!!

It was a lightbulb year …

1.  where I took #radicalresponsibility for my thoughts and actions (check out Jill Coleman for more on this!)

2.  showed up #imperfectAF and let the chips fall wherever they may

3.  and learned to be grateful for the #unpinterestable parts of my life and body.

As it turns out learning to be authentic AT MY WORST, gave me more happiness and value than I ever imagined.

I know that life’s roller coaster is not done with me yet and there’s plenty of obstacles that will come way in the future.
Shit… if they are anything like 2012-2014, I’m in for some falls, spills, and sucker punches.
It’s going to suck.  Of that, I’m certain.
Not looking forward to it… but here’s the thing… next go around I know I’m not trapped.

I may not be in charge of my circumstances, but I am 100% responsible for how I conquer them.  

With all of that super personal and vulnerable info, you should know that this post is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

For anyone ready to descend themselves into some major mindset shifts like the ones above, I’m finishing up a 7 week, 7 minute journaling email series focusing on the 7 Deadly Sins of Fitness (and actually everything)…

 

Yup… Gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth, and the super juicy envy and wrath.  How are they showing up and making you feel worse about your body, how you eat, what you eat, how you judge yourself, others, the bigness/smallness of your body?

 

I’ll be sharing with you my own personal stories and questions to uncover and yes… absolutely to TRIGGER your own worst struggles and turn them into positive shifts.

 

This email series is NOT for everyone btw… there are no free meal plans or free workouts involved.

 

This is all about head space… sitting in your worst… in the hopes of getting to your best.  Join here FREE!  

 

Everything begins Monday, June 5th and every Monday til July 17th you’ll get 1 email and 1 journaling exercise to flip your inner script.